If you have ever stood in a gravel lot at 5:15 AM wearing a 33 gallon garbage bag as a poncho, aggressively slathering Vaseline on your inner thighs while making unblinking eye contact with a complete stranger… congratulations. You are a runner, and you are deeply, gloriously unhinged.
With the 2027 Grandma’s Marathon weekend on the horizon, it is time to call out the absurd habits we pretend are totally normal every June along Lake Superior.
Grandma’s is not just one race. It is a full blown running pilgrimage. Whether you are tackling the full 26.2 miles from Two Harbors, taking on the legendary Garry Bjorklund Half Marathon, tackling the Duluth 10K, or sprinting through Canal Park in the William A Irvin 5K, taking on any distance this weekend brings out our absolute weirdest behavior.
Here are 10 hilarious, unhinged habits every weekend participant knows in their soul.
1. Trash Bags as Haute Couture
Non runners use trash bags for yard waste. Grandma’s weekend runners use them as windproof, high fashion outerwear. Whether you are waiting for the bus to Two Harbors or lining up near the lake for the 5K, 10K, or Half, nothing screams elite athletic performance quite like a black Hefty bag with jagged, panic ripped armholes. If it has a drawstring neck, you are basically wearing Gucci on the North Shore.
2. Casual Sacrifice of Human Anatomy
In polite society, a black, detachment ready toenail or a giant heel blister requires an urgent care visit. In race training, looking down at a foot that resembles a bruised olive just gets a mild shrug: “Well, it made it through my final long run along the lake. I will sweep it off the bathroom floor on Monday.”
3. Total Eradication of Personal Dignity
Training for race weekend does not just push your physical limits; it incinerates your self respect. You will smear anti friction lubricant in places you would not reveal to a priest, and you will perfect the high velocity snot rocket at Mile 4 or Mile 14 without breaking eye contact or losing stride. It is gross, it is hyper efficient, it is North Shore performance art.
4. Mid Race Desperation Math
Ask a runner of any distance to split a $40 dinner bill, and their brain melts. Put that same runner out on the course with legs made of wet concrete, and they instantly become a quantum physicist:
“Okay, if I run an 8:41 for the next 2 miles, spend exactly 4.2 seconds throwing water on my face, and do not trip over a pacer, I can walk for 11 seconds on Lemondrop Hill and still PR by 12 seconds.”
5. Snobby Gel and Chews Sommelier Mode
We spend months testing maple syrup, caffeine sludge, salty chews, and hydration tabs like snobby Michelin guide inspectors: “Ah yes, the Salted Watermelon chew has a complex mid palate, but the Espresso Gel really hits you in the lower intestine right before the finish line.” By race morning, our shorts pockets are so crammed with sticky packets we look like chipmunks prepping for a Northland winter.
6. The Post Race Penguin Shuffle
Sunday morning in Canal Park is legendary for one reason: hundreds of grown adults from every distance walking around downtown Duluth like they were recently dropped out of an airplane without a parachute. Half marathoners, 10K runners, and full marathoners alike navigating hotel stairs backward? Standard operating procedure. Groaning out loud just to lower yourself onto a chair at the Grandma’s Saloon and Grill? Mandatory.
7. Pathological Hydration
Forty eight hours before the gun goes off for your race, you transform into a human water tower. We carry gallon jugs into corporate meetings, chug sodium cocktails at 10:00 PM, and analyze the color of our own urine with the intensity of a forensic scientist, all so we do not cramp up when Lake Superior throws a breeze our way.
8. ZERO Bathroom Boundaries
Modesty dies in a Porta Potty queue at any start line. Within 30 seconds of standing next to a total stranger in Two Harbors or at the 5K, 10K, or Half starting corrals, you will exchange detailed medical histories regarding GI distress, nervous bowels, and whether or not Plastic Box #4 has any paper left, or if someone is going to have to sacrifice a sock.
9. Weather Forecast Paranoia
Starting ten days out, runners refresh the Duluth weather app every 8 minutes. We analyze tailwinds, humidity percentages, and Lake Superior surface temperatures like grizzled maritime captains. If the lake breeze shifts by 2 mph, it triggers a 40 message group chat existential crisis regardless of whether you are running 3.1 miles or 26.2 miles.
10. Paying Money to Suffer (And Calling It the Best Day Ever)
To any reasonable human, waking up before dawn, pushing your lungs and legs to the limit, and fighting through muscle cramps sounds like a torture experiment. But Grandma’s weekend has a magic no other event can touch.
When you make that final turn onto Superior Street and hit that wall of sound from thousands of cheering Duluthians lining the roads all the way to Canal Park, you forget all the pain. You cross that finish line near the Aerial Lift Bridge, grab a famous Michelina’s cup, limp to the tent, and start planning your return for 2028 before the ice in your drink even melts.
Taryn Robertson
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Favorite Grandma’s Marathon Memory: My favorite Grandma’s Marathon memory is the year I came back from a major injury. A few years ago, I broke my leg badly, and the only thing that got me through 3½ months in a boot was knowing that Grandma’s was still on the line!
Training while going through PT—and barely being able to bend my ankle—was no joke. But somehow, I did it.
That year was even more special because my grandfather was turning 90, so my family came to Duluth to celebrate. My (now) husband, grandmother, and grandfather rode the train along the marathon route, and as we took off, I got to wave to them through teary eyes. I was already an emotional mess before I even crossed the starting line!
Throughout the race, I kept wondering: Could I do this? Would I finish? How much pain would I be in? Would I make my grandparents proud? They wanted so badly to see me cross that finish line.
And then there were the crowds.
The crowds along the Grandma’s Marathon route never disappoint. Every time I stopped, people cheered, hollered, and encouraged me to keep going. When my legs and mind were telling me to stop, the crowd seemed to carry me forward.
I’ll never, ever forget coming across that finish line and being greeted by three of my favorite people—all of them crying.
My grandparents and husband had tears streaming down their faces, and I was sweating, snotting, and weeping with joy right along with them.
After everything it took to get there, crossing that finish line was one of the most emotional moments of my life. I’ll never forget that day.
That’s what makes Grandma’s so incredibly special to me. It isn’t just the race or the course—it’s the people. The runners, the spectators, the volunteers, and the loved ones cheering from the sidelines. They make you feel like you’re part of something bigger, and that day, they carried me all the way to the finish.
Quote that guides, inspires, or embodies your training, racing, or life: What comes up must come down! I ALWAYS think about this when I’m running hills. And for long runs, I tell myself, “you’ve gotta go through it to get through it!” And when I’m tired, exhausted, want to stop, and want to give up, I repeat, “you can do hard things, you can do hard things” over and over.
Song that must be on your running playlist: Mama Said, by Lukas Graham; Do You Know, by Enrique Iglesias; Doses & Mimosas, by Cherub; Raising Hell, by Kesha.
Reason you absolutely won’t run outside: I HATE running on the treadmill, so if I can’t run outside, it must be pretty bad! I’ve run through rain and snowstorms, but extreme heat, but if there’s wildfire smoke outside, absolutely count me out.
Favorite pre-race meal: Tavern on the Hill for Macaroni and Cheese pizza with ranch! Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it; it combines my two favorite foods!
Favorite post-race beverage: MIMOSAS! Or an ice cold beer!
Running superstition: It’s bad luck to wear your race shirt on race day!
2027 running goal: I’ve been through an incredible amount of life changes this year with career shifts and cross country relocations. All good things, but running went to the wayside. My running goal for 2027 is to enjoy the journey and reclaim my joy in marathoning.