In my Junior year of High School (2014), I pulled up Google Search on my phone and typed “running and panic attacks, will my body ever feel normal again?” The results were mostly WebMD, telling me to seek medical attention if I didn’t feel well but I stumbled upon a short film by Canadian Ultrarunner Rob Krar called “DEPRESSIONS with Rob Krar.” It covers the “landscape and emotion” of depression during one of his
workouts in the Grand Canyon. I had finally found a sense of community and felt less alone. Open conversations about mental health were less common at the time, and I deeply valued his candor.
My first panic attack was at a school event called “Mr. Oswego.” It was a talent show in our small, crowded gym. I remember suddenly feeling short of breath, and a prickly sensation in my throat. I quickly excused myself to the longest hallway I’d ever seen, and made my way to the water fountain. Hopefully just dehydrated, right? But then I started shaking and experiencing what I would later learn were called heart palpitations. Soon I couldn’t do the crowded hallways, and worst of all, I was struggling at track practice. Anytime my heart rate would increase, the palpitations would appear.
There was no easy fix, especially because all the doctors appointments and testing came back completely normal. How could that be possible when I feel like my body is failing? As Mayo Clinic reports, “ panic attacks themselves aren’t life-threatening, they can be frightening and significantly affect your quality of life. But treatment can be very effective.” And so it was, I had to choose to do the work and manage my mind.
Fast forward to over a decade later, six marathons, three ultras, and thousands of miles. Panic attacks are still a part of my life, but so is running. The difference is that now I know how to manage them. I learned the importance of nutrition and a lot of sleep amongst other strategies in therapy. If you feel alone in your mental health like I did for a time, know that the running community hears you, and understands. There are moments where you feel like you’ll never feel normal again, or you’ll never run again, but the human body is pretty amazing in the way that it always recovers with time.
Alyson Simon
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Favorite Grandma’s Marathon Memory: My favorite Grandmas Marathon memory is from last year. It was my fourth Grandmas full and the second time running it with my best friend, Hannah! In 2024 we ran 5:00:47, disappointed to just miss the five hour barrier. In 2025, we made a plan to push a little more in the beginning, and hang on for dear life in the second half hoping to break 5. As we ran into Duluth, it was going to be a close one but we were feeling good. In a dramatic turn of events, I started to overheat once we hit the blacktop after lemon drop hill. I had to stop and eat as much as I could and take in a half liter of water. I was so disappointed in myself for not staying on top of it, and because of that I wouldn’t finish the race with Hannah. Luckily, I started to come around and picked it up to find Hannah. I caught her with one mile to go – and together we broke 5 hours running 4:59:58!! I had my Garmin watch going, and after we crossed the finish line Hannah asked if we broke 5 and I shook my head. I saw 5:00:03 and it stung. A few minutes later, I got a text from my husband. “You guys broke 5! Congrats!!” I showed Hannah and we looked up the results, it was true! We were so excited and proud, our hard work had paid off.
A song that must be on your running playlist: There’s A Rhythm – Bon Iver
2025 running goal: Participate in keeping our running communities a safe and peaceful space for everyone.