Marathon training is hard. Parenting is harder. Combining them can sometimes seem like an impossible task. However, despite being a logistical challenge, it not only is good for parents, but good for children as well.
It’s true that finding time to run between working, preparing meals, and spending time with my daughter can be difficult. The “mom guilt” I often feel from spending my precious spare time running, instead of with my daughter, Dot, is always lingering in the back of my mind. However, I know that running makes me a better parent. It gives me more energy, reduces my stress, and gives me time to decompress. Basically, when I am running, I am a kinder, more patient, more relaxed mama.
But, like I said before, it can be a struggle to find the time and the means to run as a parent. So, here are a few key things that I have learned while trying to juggle working full time, being a mom (a single mom, for much of my kiddo’s life), and a marathoner/ultrarunner.
Flexibility: Being flexible is perhaps the most important key to fitting in your training while being a parent. This can mean a variety of things. You need to be flexible about when and where you run. Now that Dot is in school and participating in afterschool activities I take all those opportunities to run. When she’s at dance class I’ll run the snowmobile trails by the dance studio, when she’s in gymnastics I’ll run the trails and roads in Superior. If I know I won’t have an opportunity after school, I sacrifice a little sleep, get up an hour earlier, and hop on the treadmill. When you have the time, use it.
The other aspect of being flexible is with your mindset. I can be somewhat of an all or nothing type person. It serves me well on occasion, but more often than not is more of a hindrance. But, I’m learning it’s progress over perfection. Only have time for a half hour, but have an hour on your schedule. Run! You’re still making that progress. You may find the time later to get in the rest of your run in or some cross training, or you may not, but volume and consistency over time matters, not one missed or shortened workout. Do what you can and don’t worry about perfection.
Creativity: The second key to running while parenting is to be creative. When Dot was a baby, I did a ton of stroller running. She was with me for hundreds and hundreds of miles. Actually, I’m kind of ashamed to admit this, but I pushed her in a stroller until she was five. We loved our runs together and I didn’t want it to end. No, she didn’t always want to ride along, but I strived to make it fun and keep her engaged. We’d plan runs to the park, runs with friends, runs to the store, runs where we played “I Spy” for an hour straight, runs through irrigators…whatever it took to keep her happy. Oh, and snacks, snacks were definitely key.
Somedays, the stroller wasn’t an option, so when she was taking a nap, I would run laps around the yard, with the baby monitor in my hand until I hit the required mileage on my plan. Now, it’s a little easier. She’s getting to the age where she can bike along or for shorter runs, run along with me. I can take her to the track, I’ve done this since she was little, and she can play in the grass or run a few loops while I do workouts. Parks are also a great option. I’ve ran laps around a playground while she’s played for an hour or so. It just takes a little ingenuity and an open mind…and not minding running in circles sometimes. I’m not going to lie, a treadmill (even though I despise running on them) can be a lifesaver. Having the ability ro run while your child is sleeping or the weather is too bad for a stroller run, is amazing.
Support System: The third key is to find and then lean on a support system. This is something that I tend to struggle with in general, but have gotten much more used to reaching out to friends and family so I can get my training in. But, I’ve tried to do this a number of ways; first, I utilize grandparents. My mom and dad love to have Dot over (she’s the only grandchild), so once a month or so, I will make the three hour trek to their house so I can get some weekend miles in.
Occasionally, Dot will go with a friend for a playdate. Having other parents watch my child for a few hours is such a godsend sometimes. Just make sure to reciprocate for those incredible people who will take your child under their wing for a few hours. You can also make some running friends, especially friends with children (this is easier said than done). Not only can you run with them, but you can trade off babysitting duty a few times a month, so you both can get in your long run.
Involvement: The final key is to involve your child. We are the biggest influencers of our children, and what we do as parents matter. Since she was born, Dot has had it ingrained in her that being active is a natural and vital part of life. She’s been able to see the fun and camaraderie in the running community through races (being pushed in a stroller as a baby and now by actually running them), through training, and through volunteering.
Last year, we volunteered for the William A. Irvin 5k and multiple ultras. She cheered until she was hoarse and filled water bottles like an old pro. She’s crewed me in multiple ultras and is almost excited as I am for those weekends.
The best part is now she’s found a love of running herself. From the YAF races, to 5ks, to running ten miles in a Last Runner Standing event, she is finding joy in the sport. This year, as I register for races she’s signing up right along with me.
Seeing the influence my running has on her, knowing she’s watching me as I log the miles, do the work, and stay committed, keeps me motivated. She’s growing up knowing that anything is in the realm of possibility if she works hard enough and believes in herself. I’m looking forward to years of running together.
Even though it is a struggle, I guarantee you continuing to run as you navigate parenting will not only benefit you, but your children. They are learning grit, tenacity, and perseverance by watching you. Get out there and run, you’re raising stronger kids for it.
Shannon Hogan
Shannon Hogaan is a 2024 Grambassador. Meet the other Grambassadors here.
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Favorite Grandma’s Marathon Memory: This will be my seventh Grandma’s marathon and I’ve loved every race. Up until this past Grandma’s I would have said crossing the finish line for the first time. But now it is involving my daughter and making the entire weekend a celebrated family affair…from visiting the expo to participating in the Whipper Snapper races, volunteering at the 5k, and seeing her cheering out on the course. We both love it!
A Quote that guides, inspires, or embodies your training, racing, or life: “What good is livin’ the life you’ve been given if all you do is stand in one place.” Lord Huron
A Song that must be on your running playlist: Holocene by Bon Iver
Favorite pre-race meal: Oatmeal with almond butter and chocolate chips
2024 Running Goal: PR my marathon (a BQ would be an incredibly lofty goal) and finishing the Superior 100 for the second time.